Moose
by Alex L. Kerr
Summary: Alternative title: Sam Gets Turned Into A Moose (& How Dean's Jacket Died).


**Writer's Note:** Hey everyone. After reading through this again, I figured it was just funny/weird enough to post to ff. This was written for a prompt featured in Reddit's community Fandomnatural (come check us out!). The prompt : At least one member of Team Free Will has to deal with getting turned into an animal.

To be honest, this is so goofy that it's kind of crack... only with grammar & spelling still intact. Enjoy!

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Dean stared, speechless, at the moose standing next to the Impala's passenger door in the motel parking lot. Its neck craned downwards, its long snout breaching through the open window and sniffling Dean's leather jacket laid out over the seat back. Its antlers rubbed against the Impala's roof, stopping it from being able to get its head all the way in. The moose snorted and jostled its way in as much as possible before giving a dull, throaty growl of satisfaction when it finally bit onto the jacket.

"Hm," blurted a mockingly pensive voice behind Dean. The older brother whirled around to find Crowley in his typical Armani suit, arms casually crossed with an appraising gaze upon the huge creature now chewing on Dean's favorite jacket. Dean would do something about that were it not for the fact that he vaguely knew a charging moose was maybe not something he should tempt.

The moose let out a melancholic roar as its slow brain processed the smell and texture of the jacket. He snuffled into it while staring with soft, bluntly hapless eyes at Dean.

"What is this?" Dean whispered, furious. He turned to look at the moose's helplessly dumb expression. With a few moose whiffles and grunts, it sidled its body up closer to the car and leaned its huge flank against it. Dean's eyes went back to Crowley as the moose started trying to sit down with four spindly hoofed legs and Dean's jacket hanging from its mouth.

Crowley could barely contain his amusement, watching the moose's attempts to lie down against the Impala. After a few seconds of relishing the scene, Dean's drilling stare demanded attention.

"What?" Crowley shrugged innocently. He gestured to the moose, now lying on the asphalt, its neck cricked to the side so it could still lean against the Impala without its antlers scratching Dean's baby. The jacket rested along the moose's snout. "I see no difference," Crowley quipped.

It took Dean a second to understand; he'd just woken up after all. He flushed with fury when it clicked: Sam had been turned into the animal Crowley so loved to equate him with. Dean vaguely registered the silver lining: at least he wasn't a squirrel…

"Turn him back!" Dean demanded, outraged.

"Why? C'mon it's like nothing's changed. He's even wearing _clothes_ still."

The moose - _Sam_ - huffed loudly and Dean couldn't help but think he'd detected indignation in it. Dean glanced to look at Sam, his expression the essence of sympathy.

At seeing Dean's face, the moose let out a long, low and throaty roar. Dean cringed and stepped forward towards the moo- _Sam._

"Hey Sammy," he whispered, cautiously reaching a hand out as he approached. Sam balked and huffed, blinking up at his older brother.

"I'd watch out for those bloody antlers if I were you. Sam can't feel them so he could end up skewering you like heads on a stick," Crowley commented lazily. Still, he was grinning from ear to ear as he watched this unfold. Dean came to a sharp stop and turned around, fixing Crowley with wrathful sincerity.

"Crowley if you don't turn him back right now I swear to god-"

"-I'm really not much for listening to idle threats, Dean - just call your winged better half & be done with it. I, on the other hand, have more important matters to attend to," Crowley paused for dramatic effect and winked at Sam who blinked back stupidly, still chewing on Dean's jacket, "Now that I've had my fun."

With that, he was gone.

Dean closed his eyes, prayed for patience… then for Castiel.

Not a moment later, muted fluttering sounds and brief intense winds signaled the angel's uncomfortably close & sudden presence by his side. Cas wasn't looking to Dean though; rather the angel's stoic, unblinking gaze was leveled upon the wretched, sad posture of the moose snuffling Dean's jacket before them.

"They really are majestic creatures, aren't they?" Cas said, his tone that of pure wonder & awe. Dean's harassed expression spoke volumes.

Regaining some semblance of composure, Dean found his words.

"No, Cas. Not when it's my brother who has been turned into friggin _moose_!" Dean yelled, his temper getting the better of him. Sam, hearing the commotion - his brother in distress - decided to throw out an extremely loud, threatening growl in Castiel's direction. It startled Dean and made him think of Chewbacca if Chewbacca had to have a kazoo strapped to his vocal cords.

"Calm down, Dean, you're upsetting your brother," Cas warned, nonplussed.

"Cas…" Dean stopped and reined himself in, "Could you… please… turn him back for me? _Now_?" Dean asked through gritted teeth, seething.

Cas's eyes remained fixed on Sam as he gave a long sigh.

"If I must."

"You must," Dean growled.

Cas nodded, accepting the order, and walked over to the giant mammal.

"Hello Sam."

The moose made a low gurgle-whine.

"Easy, Sam," Cas said calmly, raising his hand to settle on the space between the moose's eyes. The moose looked up to Cas blankly, looking ridiculous and helpless, Dean's leather jacket still hanging over its nose, a sleeve inside its mouth.

A brilliant white light originating from Castiel's touch and spreading through the moose's body eventually blinded Dean. A second after it'd disappeared Dean was still blinking out the after effects when he heard Cas speak up again.

"Sam I hope it's all right. I took the liberty of clothing you as we are in public and indecency is unlawful here."

"No no that was a good call, Cas, um…" Sam tried to find the words, "thanks."

Dean rested his eyes on the now-human form of his little brother, breathing a sigh of relief. Sam, however, didn't look thrilled. He had a pained expression as he stared at the ground. Dean didn't get it until he saw what Sam was looking at.

Slowly, as if sore, Sam bent down and delicately reached for Dean's favorite leather jacket - what was once their _father's_ leather jacket - what was once qualified as one of the only family heirlooms they'd ever had - and what was now a drooled-upon, soaking and tattered bundle of leather.

Sam forlornly approached Dean with the ruined, munched-upon jacket and held it out to him.

"Dean I- I'm sorry, man," he murmured and finally looked into Dean's eyes, exuding pure remorse with his tone and posture.

Dean couldn't find it in him to do much more than lament the death of his beloved jacket, taking it from Sam with solemn regard.

"Moose have an extremely keen sense of smell, Dean," Castiel said impassively.

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**Writer's Note:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment/review if you can spare the time. Thank you! ~ Alex


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